The time has come for this old surf dog to lay down some local surf rules. Lord knows I personally despise rules. I mean look at me. I go to work in a high end Real Estate office dressed in baggies (surf shorts) and t-shirts. I have always danced to the beat of my own drums but there is an area of my life that certain rules were handed down that must be carried out by me and I must hand them down to others. Especially, the younger surfers. Not following the rules could get you beat up or worse. You could be labeled a kook.
The following definition is something we should all fear:
The word “kook” is one of the most hurtful words in surfing. To be called a “kook” means that you can’t surf well, have a terrible style, talk trash, or even snake your fellow surfers. Maybe you do all these things at once. Kooks have been around since the birth of surfing. I’m sure even the Duke had to deal with couple of them over in Waikiki back in the day. The problem is that it seems that the worst kooks of them all don’t realize the extent of their own kookdom. Ref. about.com
My goal in this post is to help my local 30A friends not look like kooks.
Rules for surfers:
Do not cover your boards or vehicles in surfing stickers unless you are sponsored. You can maybe pull this one off if you surf very well but… it still may be too risky.
If you are in the water with a water proof I pod on and you get punched, you had it coming. Enjoy the sounds and the music of the environment. Not to mention, you look stupid and you can not hear anyone as you are about to drop in on them.
If someone you know likes you enough to loan you a board do not call them and ask them if your friend can borrow one too. Not cool.
If you break some ones board, you just bought it. There are no exceptions to this except maybe getting it professionally repaired. If the owner of the board agrees to this you are ok. If not, you must buy them a new board.
Never post where you will be surfing on Facebook. This is a true surf sin and the surf gods do not even have a consequence laid out for this one yet. I can promise the punishment on this violation will be severe.
Always, respect the older surfers in the water. If you are about to drop in on a wave and see an older guy going for the same wave, it is his wave. You should pull out and wait. Pete Clauson, Ed Berry and I just formed this rule last week. If anyone objects to this rule, look out for the yellow submarine! Also, a younger surfer should always call his older surf buddies with surf reports before entering the water. It is only right.
While we are talking about wave rights, this would be a good time to bring up surfing in Grayton. If you are fortunate enough to get to surf with my good buddy Sam Wesley, all the waves are his. He has been here a lot longer then you and his dog surfs better then you. Seriously. Don’t snake Sam.
Never try to pick up a girl in a wetsuit. You look like a seal and cold water does not help impress the ladies as wetsuits show everything.
If someone tells you it is a secret spot, don’t ask where. It is a secret and you may be lucky in good time to figure out where the secret spot is.
Not a good idea to keep your board on top of your truck longer then 2 days after the swell. You look like a poser. BTW, the correct way to position a board on top of a vehicle is fins up facing forward. There is no other way to do it.
Yes, we know there are sharks in the water.
Yes, we surf during double red flags. It is what a surfer waits for on the gulf coast and if you try to debate this you will lose.
Do not paddle out or swim in front of the lineup unless you want a board up side your head and a visit to the emergency room. The break zone is the danger zone. DO NOT HANG OUT THERE.
If you don’t surf or don’t know the water well don’t act like you do. Your secret will come out soon enough. Its ok. You will also not put yourself in a dangerous place by being honest.
If a fellow surfer or swimmer is in trouble. You must help them no matter how good the waves are. This is probably the most important rule in surfing.
Never surf under the influence. There is far too much going on in the water. You don’t surf better high. You might think you do but I suggest watching the difference on video. You may be surprised.
The rules could go on and on but I think my point is made. In order to not be a kook just be respectful of the water. Learn from your elders. Ask question. Don’t be too cool for school. See you in the water.
